Never Prank Snape
by SkyeMoor
Summary: A prequel to Nobody Ever Asked my Birthday


The twins were silent, as they often were when nobody else was around. They could communicate with a gesture, or a crinkle of the face, so why be noisy? It was a large part of how they navigated Hogwarts after-hours (because everyone knew the best time to set up a prank was after hours).

Besides, it was a month into their third year, and Quiddich practice had already begun (Ollie took his name seriously).

They were dreaming bigger and better than last year too - this year, they were finally going to use their illicit Potions Workshop for great things. If they were talented enough, they'd manage to pull off a potion that not even Severus Snape, First of His Name, could reverse!

It was a goal that danced seemingly just in front of their fingertips, yet whenever they reached a hand out to touch it, it melted away like driven snow.

That was fine. They'd spent the last three days working on their latest attempt - it was now Sunday, so they were eager to decant the potion and see if their Color Changing Elixir could be persuaded to make chartreuse and vermillion spots on cotton fabric.

Ten paces from the door, the twins paused in unison. "Something's wrong." one said to the other.

"Someone's been inside." the other said to the first.

"Approach, with all the caution we know," the first said, leadingly.

"Ca' canny, of all the things we don't." the second said, with a weak grin.

This was serious business - for one, they'd spent a lot of time and effort creating a Workshop. To have it be discovered - and by the sort of dolt that might-

"This might be a teacher's work..."

"Teacher'd make it ruddy useless for us. Hope it was a student, looking for love in allll the wrong places."

One of the twins approached the door, senses wide. The other crouched like a cat, ready at an instant's notice to grab his brother and flee.

"It's... it's warded." he said.

"That's... not first year work," The other said.

"Fifth at least,"

"Wonder what it does?"

The other twin cocked his head, grinned suddenly, and smashed his hand into the door, saying, "Only one way to find out." He finished the last half of the sentence with his hand on the door.

The first twin cried out, almost involuntarily, at the sudden move.

"See? Safer than a baby..." the second one said.

"Awful suspicious that," the first said, and at the second's unusual silence, clarified, "They didn't ward it to keep us out. Someone went to a lot of effort..."

The second one reached out and touched the door, "They've left our spells up, too..."

"They had to have entered, though," the first said.

"Yeah, that muggle hair trick really worked wonders!" the second said.

"Wait, wait, wait - our spells aren't even _triggered!_" the first said excitedly.

"Brother mine, I think we have a problem." the second said.

"I think we may have _competition_," the first said.

One turned the door knob, opening it slowly, carefully. They knew better than anyone what could be invisibly hidden behind a stout wooden door.

Nothing. No bobs, no bits, no jots, not even a bat or a dive-bombing owl.

The twins exchanged looks, "Shall we?"

They traipsed inside, consciously behaving as if it was a lark, all but for their wands at the ready.

They shut the door quickly (just in case), and began a far more detailed inspection of the room.

"Here! It's a note!" the first twin said from the center of the three brewing stations.

The second promptly abandoned what he was doing to read over the first one's shoulder.

_Your security precautions needed improvement._

_I took the liberty of adding the bare necessities._

_Albus Dumbledore_

"Dumbledore?" the second one said, "But... but he's not even in Hogwarts today! Hasn't been the whole weekend."

The first one nodded, "And that's not his style, not of speaking and not for writing neither."

"Which means it wasn't him."

"Who would dare, though?"

"Flawless forgery, that's certainly his handwriting."

"Not flawless, brother mine, precisely and perfectly flawed."

"By Jolly! You're right! We didn't believe it for a second..."

"And that's intentional."

"Never prank Snape." they said to each other, nodding firmly. As they inspected the rest of the Workshop, they were able to see the minor and major changes. They really were helpful tricks, a full Potion Master's compendium of How To Keep Yourself safe.

The more studious twin even started taking notes, while his brother focused on understanding the spells and wards.

In years to come, they would frequently have cause to thank the nameless soul who'd helped save their faces, their robes, and maybe even their lives.

[a/n: I have an ever-increasing backstory between the Weasley Twins and Severus Snape. This is the start of it all.

As I may have mentioned, Snape does have favorites in Gryffindor - they just aren't named Harry Potter. And, for everyone's safety and well-being, they are not aware that Snape likes them one bit.

Further notes: Of course only Gryffindors make illicit Potions labs! Ravenclaws have three different small labs off their common room. Hufflepuffs, who work better together, have a very well appointed one that dates back to Helga Hufflepuff, and Snape has a few designated rooms for Slytherins to use (and woe betide any who abuse the priviledge). Gryffindors think it's fun to make potions without using proper security precautions.

Snape, as Potions Master, takes offense at their cavalier attitudes. He stalks the halls, and _fixes_ the labs.

Leave a review! This story is a prequel to Nobody Ever Asked My Birthday

The Twins do come up with Properly Respectful Pranks for Snape - nothing that will get him laughed at in public (changing his underwear to all black is still fair game).]


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